This has nothing to do with Food, Farm, or Family. In fact, it’s simply just thirty-five hours without a cell phone. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I, of all people, would reconsider my cell phone.
Listen, I am an ’80s baby, meaning I grew up fashionably in the rockin’ ’90s. A time when the internet was for rich people and dial-up was a losing battle. We all thought, “huh, cool.” And went on our way. I’ve always said I’d love the day when there isn’t a text message to respond to or an email that needs to be sent. “Less is more” is my theory. Well, that was until I broke the screen on my phone for the second time.
Hands as soft as a kitten’s.
The car floor, the kitchen floor, the patio, the chicken coop, workplace drops, and finally the frying pan of Sam’s parking lot. All places that the ol’ girl has taken hits. I blame this on my lack of coordination, the fact that I constantly hold more than gravity allows, and that I have hands as soft as a kitten’s. Juggling acts are a daily norm, not a hobby.
Living with the lights off.
You know when a storm comes and the power goes off? That’s the feeling when you don’t have a phone. Suddenly, the power goes off, and you realize how hungry you are, or how dirty the floor is. Can’t cook, clean, or eat without power. Want popcorn? Sorry, no microwave.
This is my way of saying -I have been living thirty-five hours of freedom from reality. Is that cool? Not anymore, folks. It’s a great way to get behind and feel blind. Here’s what really happens without a phone:
- How much money do you have? I don’t know… I can’t check the bank account.
- Where are your kids? I think they are at school…right?
- Would you like to listen to a book? No, cause you don’t have a phone.
- How about some simple music? ….right, Spotify comes from your phone, dummy.
- I should text my kid’s teacher that his homework is in his bag. ….wrong again.
- Gosh, the kids need money on their lunch account…hello? Not if your password is on your phone. (don’t even try “forgot password” method–you know they will send you a text!
- I think I have a Zoom meeting scheduled today. (I’m still not catching on)
- What is my schedule for today?
- I’ve always wanted to check out that florist in Dallas. Ok, great idea! Just memorize the directions to get there… Good luck! (Whoa…what if I had to pull over and ask for directions from someone??!!!)
- Hey, you should try to log in on another portal and verify your password with your phone. Hehe, lost again!
How did we get here?
If it’s this hard for me to function, think about the kids out there. Scary. I never thought I’d ever “need” my phone. Yet, here we are.
Sadly, I resort to my iPad and my watch. Sounds like a great plan, right? Need wifi people!! Even though your watch has its own number, it doesn’t work without the phone’s data. Yeah, one disaster leads to another.
Even the guy who is fixing my phone said, “I’ll call you when your phone is ready.” Blink… blink… blink. If I could grab his shirt through the landline telephone, butt my head against his forehead, look him in the eyes, and ask, “Exactly… how would that happen?!!” It’s such a wild thought not to have a phone, even the tech guys find it incomprehensible.
Life stops here… thirty-three hours left.
I can’t believe I am saying it, but without a phone, productivity stops. Life stops. Great escape until you don’t know where your kids are, can’t open the car doors, or find out what the date is. How has life come to this? Thirty-three hours left until screen time, ahhh…
I miss you phone…gosh, let’s call her Rita. She’s always there for me. From here on out, no more beating up Rita. She’ll get a new and improved bulletproof dress.
Until then, I’ll be reading paperbacks and playing chess–no, need a partner for that…I’ll be reading the paper and smoking cigarettes on the porch (no wifi needed to smoke cigarettes!)
Shoot, actually I need to go clean out the garden and prep for a Fall garden!! Bye, friends! I have thirty-three hours left until it’s fixed. See you on the other side!
Lisa
(That is–The Farmer Franny that really enjoys daily Wifi and Data access, Lisa)