I was grumpy. I thought about how the kids were going to drag their legs to the car; how miserable work will be; how I can’t do something because I can’t afford something else; how I am going to cook dinner with NOTHING left in the pantry, bllah blah blah.
About halfway through my miserable morning, I realized I was being a real ‘Karen’ and needed to change my attitude. I mean, get more like..uhhh…Beyonce? I don’t know…who is never in a bad mood? Maybe Jim Carey in the ’90s? Will Smith, before Chris Rock? Ah! The infectious John Mellencamp. Well, nonetheless I was in Donald Trump’s “YOUR FIRED” stage. And I was stuck!
Mind you, I have this beautiful puppy, right?
Let me rewind to 4 AM that morning…
Well, I woke that morning at 4 AM to diarrhea in her kennel. For whatever reason, she decided to say, “screw it” and just went to sleep in it. Gross. Therefore, she was covered in dried poop when I went to pick her up. What is this chic? A homeless drunk?
I knew the minute I picked her fuzzy butt up, she was drenched. It was now all over me. Immediately I said, “ew, ew, ew” holding her at arm’s length and shuffling all the way to the back door when yes, I slip and just about kill myself on more diarrhea. Mortified that my 4 am life is going this way, and feeling like I am wrestling a BIG BAG of diarrhea, I’m so over it.
I compose myself as best as possible and go hose my first layer of stool off of me. I go back inside–not to forget a variety of choice words to her.
At this point, I began to realize this is not going to be a good day. 100% chance of rain clouds following just me. I go get another shower while praying for all buttholes in this world to be amputated. How great would that be?!!
Getting to work. (I’m a nurse, of course.)
Late. It’s very hard to be in a chipper mood when you’re late. Knowing how the morning went, I just knew my patients were going to have 30 different stool softeners and it was going to continue to be a “crappy” day.
“Hahaha, not today Satan!” No stool softeners for you, I thought! I’m not falling for that one…jokes on you. I’m not giving it! I’ve had enough.
Well, it didn’t matter. The poor guy had C-diff. I felt so bad for him. It was like a large marsupial crawled up there and died, but threw up before he died. I really qualified for the top “crappy” day of the year. I was so over it. What was I to do about it?
Therefore, I felt the need to write about how ironically my day went from the minute I woke up slipping to my death due to diarrhea. I mean, if my kids don’t kill me or cause me to go insane, my puppy June may get to me first…her technique is incomparable.
The day got better.
Luckily, I was able to make a close relationship with my patient and his family that day, and THAT was a huge blessing. Although, it’s not hard to be close when you are so in-their-face/butt. Sometimes, one of the best things about being a nurse is meeting new and wonderful people in this world and building a relationship as if you are a part of the family. Well… as long as they aren’t “crappy”.
These days will come and go. Why not make the most of it? Most the day I kept laughing (maybe a little fanatically) about the absolute nonsense of a day it had become. At that point, I was powerless.
I just have to remind myself, “Not today, Satan!” And just keep walking with a pep-in-my-step.
When the day is done.
It’s over, it’s done. Every bad moment and every good moment will have an ending. Hey, I could have missed opportunities that God has aligned in my day if I don’t stay positive!
In all honesty,
All I know is, “Not today, Satan!” WE GOT THIS! And we keep going. And THANK GOD FOR BLEACH! Amen.
How is your day going? I want to hear all about it!
Good day to you all,
P.s. The day did get better but I was comparing it to the morning so the likelihood was mathematically in favor. And I continue to thank God for bleach.
5 responses to “I said, “Not Today, Satan.””
Good thing that June and the kids are so cute lol
You are amazing and the world needs more Lisa’s.
😆 thank you! 😘 love you!
I love reading your posts. They make me smile and today I’m saying “not today Satan”.
Thanks for sharing your “crappy” day.
😂 🥰 so glad! No no no, just say no to those 💩 ones 🥸 😂
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